To tan or not to tan - a great original beach story by Jaklien on a beach holiday.

To tan or not to tan
What is it about holiday tans? Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. You go to some far away exotic resort to lie on a beach for days on end. You suffer through Saharan temperatures and painful sunburns. And let me tell you, it's pretty hard work to make sure you accomplish that perfect holiday glow. There is the choosing of the beach wear. Halter top, tube top, or one piece?

One piece is a no no, because really, you don't want to end up with a reflective white tummy. A navel piercing clashes with white skin. The tube top is the best as you won't find yourself in awkward acrobatic positions trying to keep your top on because you've undone the straps to avoid ugly white lines. Then there is the sunscreen application. You have to remember to put lotion in places you don't expect the sun to shine. Seriously, I have gotten burnt in places that I am too ashamed to mention. I also have this weird thing that my nose always looks darker than the rest of my face which makes me look like Bozo the clown. So I need to bring an additional ultra high factored sunscreen just for my nose. If you're traveling solo, make sure you're applying the lotion evenly on your back. You don't want to end up with weird unidentified brown spots everywhere. Doesn't look good in that sexy back less dress. I know it's not easy to reach everywhere, but it is doable albeit a bit ridiculous looking. The best solution for this is to ask an attractive young man to do it for you. Then there is the after sun care: the oily bath soaks, the scrubbing, the moisterising, etc. All to avoid your skin from looking like a peeling snake. And then you go home to have your pasty friends and family go: Ooh aah, you're soooo tanned. That's the reward.

So on my last Tropical beach holiday I went through the whole aforementioned process only to arrive in a snow covered London that was basking in sub zero temperatures that. As soon as I got off the plane I dug into my back pack to find something to wear that would protect me from this toe numbing weather. Not that layering three bikinis and two tank tops protects you from frost bite. As soon as I got home I got into my thermal underwear and outerwear,turtleneck and Ugg boots and went out to meet my friends. Of course no one commented on my glowing tan, because all they could see were my eyes. And they were white because I had been wearing sun glasses. Great, all that hard work for nothing. My next holiday will be to Siberia.

Author : Jaklien